hi.. i am very very tired.. Today is 2nd day of attachment at IMH.. Overall experience of the day was rated 6/10.

we arrived super duper early man.. 630am we were walking to the entrance of the hospital. we took own sweet time

walking slowly. imagine Germainie had to wake up at 430am just to catch 530am train towards marina bay.. btw she

lived at cck.. from cck to hougang.. that where IMH situated. crazy man those developer.. lucky it was only 2 weeks. if

we were to take PRCP at IMH too, all i can say i pity people out there.. but it was ok.

During the passing report, i was damn blind. coz in normal hospital, they will call the patient name and bed no.. so we

recognise more on the bed no.. easy remember.. when i came here, omg.. they just say the patient name.. and they

remember the patient faces and names very clearly.. imagine 36 patients name, face, diagnosis and behavioural.. i dont

think i can make it coz even with 6 patients i will like sotong.. i salute those nurses.. best part was i feared of aggressive

patient.. just now i heard this patient throw chair suddenly. i miss the whole show coz i went break. but too bad, they

were super bored. if i can feel bored, y cant they right? imagine the games like uno blockers, uno cards, scabble or chess

and worst things, no more drawing block and the pencils color all become like cili padi shape.. so short.. pity them.. no

wonder we were to ask to create a game for them. but what game? and worst thing, they do look uncooperative. coz

when they ask to do exercise, not everyone do it. me and zafirah doing the exercise in that nursing uniform.. it was

really uncomfortable. i mean if you wear pants at least you can do lah.. but wear dress, must take care of manners of

gal.. haha.. lucky no male nurses or male staffs,  if not we will be laughed by them. haha..

i talked to this patient, and basket i kene scolded seh.. i asked for her name.. then i said i student nurse blah blah lor..

she stared at me and start scolding me.. what the hell… nvm it doesnt bother me at all..

imagine out of 36, we only spoke to 5 patients today.. these 5 patients are at least communicable.. willing to share..

now we have to crack head again which patients suitable to be our case study.. and it will be super diffcult.. coz of a lot

factors we need to consider.. simply like choosing life-partner..

now all i know i want to sleep… thanxs for the problems that keep coming in..  which results i easily lost sleep

just like yesterday.. basket plz leave my life alone for a while can.. i got attachment to focus..

and yes i forgot.. the food super SUCKS… really i am not joking.. do you know the mee soto looks like drain water? i

mean i am sorry i know it is food i shouldnt criticise.. but seriously this time i cant take it.. just now i ate pau.. thinking

of the mee soto at that canteen, simply turn me off to eat again.. haiz.. how to survive? i miss ttsh food.. yong tau fo… i

dont mind eating that for 15 days… i simply love the food and environment at ttsh.. i want to go back there..

and another bad thing is if you work afternoon shift, there will be no food for you.. you have to bring own food..

WHAT? you not joking ba?

where am i to find cook to cook for me? haloz my mum is working and i had to fixed my own meal everyday.. i caant

afford to continue fast until 9pm.. i will dead then.. i will fainted again.. nonsense man this people… this people are

very selfish.. even if you go ttsh at 7pm, there will always food available… this one 400pm closes shop… siao..

selfish… arrogant.. idiot.. nonsense…

i miss someone..:-)

results coming out this friday.. my lecturer said, she heard from resources, we passed the exam.. no fail.. at least 50% of

fear reduced down already.. :-p

shereen is signing out..

Time: 4.40am

the night is still early. people are still sleeping. as for me, i couldnt sleep. something bothering me. about my future. i dont know what decision to make. so that y i blogging at this timing. in 2 hrs time, you will hear birds chirping and cars making nuisance noise but i scared today wouldnt be so bad coz it is still school holidays. so chances of still grabbing that smelly pillow would be higher.

back to my case.. about my future..

i been holding this sponsorship application for the past 6 months. thoughts of filling up the form had always hold back due to some reasons. pro and cons reasons. until now, i still wondering whether i should fill up and send. 

the pro reasons are simply:

1) i dont have to worry about my expenses

2) the future stake is safe now

3) i will learn how to control my stubborness, temper, discpline myself and also improves on communication skills with everyone around me.

the cons reasons are simply

1) the negative thoughts of hospitals and people perception

2) the burnout that nurses had to take for example: getting scolded by the patients, nagging sisters and demanding family members, the stress level patients putting on nurses and  the workload that wouldnt be finished on time

3) diploma in accounting and becoming cd paramedic after i graduated

so that the pros and cons. if i took the sponsorship mean i will have to serve 2 yrs bond. which means my bond will end when i was 25. and my nursing testimonials is secured now.

but if i joined cd paramedic after i graduated, have to also go training and subquently serve 2 years bond. so totally 4 years which means i will be 27 by then.

if i decided to take cd paramedic mean i will have to work parttime to cover my expenses. which mean i have to “suffer” for the next 1 and half yr.

but wait, you wont believe this, if you joined cd paramedic you will be paid $1938 for your salary and your rank is sergeant. whereas as the graduated nurses, you will paid $1600 for your salary and your rank is staff nurse 2. the workload is also the same no difference but the working hours is also the same; irregular.

i dont want to make decision that will make me regret later. i understand that stepping in the world of working environment 1st thing, you must be COMFORTABLE and feel SECURED. then follow by your pay and working benefits and working hours.

people always say follow your heart, that your future. your future is in your hands. whatever decision you make will determine you success in your career.

oh god, please show me some sign which path i should make. though frankly speaking i pray in my heart, he had helped me open my eyes very big to see world is not fantasy. real-life situations really make me reflect back and dont make same mistakes people do. in times of crisis, he hepled me to be cousicness again. like my friend said once, ” Tuhan terlalu sayang kan awak and tak sanggup nak pisahkan awak dengan orang sekeliling dia yg jugak dia sayang. apa yg berlaku semua ada hikmah. cuba tertenang jika crisis berlaku.”

give me until tolow to decide. i need peaceful environment to think carefully. i will get back again.

shereen is signing out…..:-)